Now Playing Tracks

stephodell:

insanefastone:

darthevzimus:

opalsoda:

crash-antebois:

dirk-the-hatter:

osheamobile:

thatoneblogyoualmostremember:

roguesareth:

myherokills:

You trip and fall to your death.

Critical fail, you swallow a knife and it explodes.

"As the assassin foolishly tries to slide down the gravelly side of the mountain, he trips and slits his throat on his knife. He’s dead. Anyone else want to do anything stupid?"

"You somehow determine that the golem is made of bacon.”

"You go to search the body, but manage instead to trigger the bear trap. I’m rolling damage now."

"You shoot your unconscious bleeding cleric, roll damage. Don’t forget your favored enemy bonus."

"You fail to notice the pit in front of you as you direct your horse to walk into it."

"The mugger then proceeds to shoot his friend in the foot"

"the opponent sneezes and accidentally stabs himself to death"

"You try to pick the door, but the door picks you. You’ve been impaled."

"You let go of the bow instead of its string, and it hits you in the face before falling at your feet."
me: can i just pretend like i totally meant to do that
//rolls a nat 20 on a bluff check
"Everyone totally saw that but it looked like you completely meant to do that."

"Congratulations, you almost made it out of the blizzard, but on the last day, you get lost and freeze to death. Total party wipe. Good game, guys."

(Source: zerohitpoints)

awesomeitsamy:

tommytoony:

thatlowvice:

daggerpen:

sufficetogay:

youveupsettits:

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

nurderling:

Watch this video from Cadillac. Note a few things (actor, white, rich guy, workaholic, typical cocky American, very unrealistic). This is not a parody video, they’re being completely serious.

Now watch Ford’s response.

I can’t explain it very well just please watch both of these videos okay Ford burns Cadillac so bad okay it’s so good.

"That’s the upside of giving a damn."

You better hope winter is coming, bitch. You’re gonna need it for that burn.

Holy SHIT.

Ford fucking laying down the damn law.

Ha! Go Ford.

Oh my god, FORD

hehehehehe

SHOTS FIRED
Living near Ford World HQ, I was wondering what all the evil chuckling was about….

oh man that’s beautiful.

(Source: nurdeling)

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